Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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