She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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