why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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