They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize