can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
