Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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