Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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