I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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