the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
