so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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