I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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