This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
