he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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