dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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