They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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