She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't deserve a penis
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
