Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
