New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize