I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
