Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
