I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
