he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
