It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
