Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
