if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
