Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize