that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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