yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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