The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
