maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize