I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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