Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
