did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
