I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
