he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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