We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
