I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize