Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
