Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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