So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
