he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
