no. you can't hotbox the world.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
