In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
