The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
