wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize