i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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