Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
