And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
