he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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