Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
