Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
