I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
birth control should be required to get into college
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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