So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
