She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
