Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Let's get the cat blown out
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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