We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
