its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its not stalking. its research.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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