Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
