i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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