Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
