NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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