I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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