If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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