im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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