So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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