this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
