There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have aggressive nipples.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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