I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
