Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
