I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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