idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
