i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
