in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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